Friday, June 26, 2015
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Fountain of Youth
It feels like forever since I have been able to collect my thoughts and venture into the "world of words" where I can totally be myself and express what I cannot show or feel most of the time. I love to write, and express the meaning of my words and how simple a word may seem, but when combined with other words how it can bring the smallest of memory to the great heights or it can destroy with simple timing. It has been 2 years now since my unexplained, unplanned, unnecessary divorce, but I guess it was necessary if two people aren't on board. You take a dream, you make a dream and plan a life that you honestly and truly believe is for the right things, and you commit to trust. That is a good thing. A very good thing! When it falls apart and leaves the remains of your dreams laying in your lap, and the mass destruction of finances and friendships blowing in the wind, you are left with this disastrous spot in your heart and spirit that seems dark, sad and unfulfilled. Let's hope that no one actually gets married to go to court to get divorced, but it happens. Divorce, desertion, etc., it happens. People sometimes change, or circumstances happen that are just unacceptable, or past events rear their ugly heads and start messing with the present time. Fear causes us a lot of grief and sometimes running from ourselves lands us running from the very thing that was believed to be the most important thing. What do you do? Well, first of all, with such a death of a dream, time is all that can make it manageable. While we strive to put the pieces of the "us" back together to make it singular, fighting the thoughts and fear of rejection can bring a great sense of darkness to our worlds. I can only speak for me, but when you love and believe together, those are two pretty strong bonds, so those strong bonds take time to heal.
I still believe, through all the heartache and sorrows that life is meant to be shared. To hold the hand of someone and believe in them is the greatest reward in this life. I choose to not let the sorrows that have made parts of my life dictate to me the treasure that is found in believing in someone. Perfection, no thank you, money, that can be made together, but connection, now that is what I am talking about. One thing about getting older is you learn the beauty of life from a different angel. Of course when I was younger, I thought I knew everything about how I felt, but I didn't. I carried my life with pride and worked hard and learned so many things through the years. My joy of cooking, baking, sewing, a home, passion, disappointment, struggles and of course love, has brought me to this wonderful place where I have learned through all the pain the meaning of that word. Love can be romanticized and built up to be this giant size dream we have in our head of everything going along smoothly and lovingly with hot passion (which there is) and undeniable feelings of perfect (which there isn't) and then when the stars start to fall from the eyes, and troubles of everyday and every changing life season, we sit back and long for that starry eyed state. DON'T.....the true meaning of love is right there. It is the bills, the home, the kids, dogs, cats, in-laws and outlaws of the family. It is heartache and fear and disagreements and challenges that sometimes feel like they are taking over far more than they should. That is love, and life. To trust and be trusted is the goal...
Now as I look in the mirror at this woman looking back at me, I see the lines around my eyes where I smiled at my friends, and the loves of my life. I see the lines that encompass a world of family and living, and life again in grandchildren, and death of my dear sweet family that has now left me to try and figure it out on my own. My wrinkles represent this learning that has taken place in a heart that has been shattered, and also glowed with genuine happiness at the lessons of my life and the structure of what has turned out to be me. I know I will never be 20, or 30 or 40 again, and that is okay. But I will love like I am. Although this chapter of my life is challenging to a heart that is still bursting with those dreams that made those previous years the history of me, and age is something we know is going to happen, if we are fortunate, I still believe in the power of love. One thing that no one can take from you, is the ability to love and trust another. We may come to a place of fear, and push away and want to distance ourselves from that glorious feeling, but in reality....it isn't possible. The lack of love or the offer of it will just replace itself with a sad loneliness that stays with us throughout and only stands to remind us of that loss. It is hard to take chances and to grow enough in ourselves that we can challenge our spirits and souls to overcome something the mind tells us not too. Trusting your heart and following it was the reason God made human beings so intricate and complicated. The well put together human being was created for a balance of all emotions. So when the fear sets in and the complications arise, they are suppose too. Love is the strongest of all, and the most difficult to understand, but the reality of it all, is it IS ALL THINGS. You already know that, I am sure, as you sit and contemplate your day, and talk of plans for dinner, and post snapshots of family, friends and proudly display you honey with that starry eyed look of happiness. One thing is for certain, it doesn't matter what age you are, the grayest of hair, the laugh lines, the "I'm not how I use to be"....The only thing about you, that will never change with age, is the wisdom of your heart and spirit. Listen to them and allow them to keep you young and alive....God kept them hidden unless we want them shown. There my friends, is your fountain of youth. Right there in you is the magic potion that keeps you going, dreaming, longing and caring. Falling in love and staying in love is the greatest of rewards for life. Sustaining that love and believing in it, gives you life. You had the answer of the "Fountain of Youth" all along.......So as the years creep up and you watch the changes of life on yourself and others....In their hearts they are as young as ever...Can you see it in their eyes! Never loose "sight"... hugs <3 p="">
Peace and blessings...
I still believe, through all the heartache and sorrows that life is meant to be shared. To hold the hand of someone and believe in them is the greatest reward in this life. I choose to not let the sorrows that have made parts of my life dictate to me the treasure that is found in believing in someone. Perfection, no thank you, money, that can be made together, but connection, now that is what I am talking about. One thing about getting older is you learn the beauty of life from a different angel. Of course when I was younger, I thought I knew everything about how I felt, but I didn't. I carried my life with pride and worked hard and learned so many things through the years. My joy of cooking, baking, sewing, a home, passion, disappointment, struggles and of course love, has brought me to this wonderful place where I have learned through all the pain the meaning of that word. Love can be romanticized and built up to be this giant size dream we have in our head of everything going along smoothly and lovingly with hot passion (which there is) and undeniable feelings of perfect (which there isn't) and then when the stars start to fall from the eyes, and troubles of everyday and every changing life season, we sit back and long for that starry eyed state. DON'T.....the true meaning of love is right there. It is the bills, the home, the kids, dogs, cats, in-laws and outlaws of the family. It is heartache and fear and disagreements and challenges that sometimes feel like they are taking over far more than they should. That is love, and life. To trust and be trusted is the goal...
Now as I look in the mirror at this woman looking back at me, I see the lines around my eyes where I smiled at my friends, and the loves of my life. I see the lines that encompass a world of family and living, and life again in grandchildren, and death of my dear sweet family that has now left me to try and figure it out on my own. My wrinkles represent this learning that has taken place in a heart that has been shattered, and also glowed with genuine happiness at the lessons of my life and the structure of what has turned out to be me. I know I will never be 20, or 30 or 40 again, and that is okay. But I will love like I am. Although this chapter of my life is challenging to a heart that is still bursting with those dreams that made those previous years the history of me, and age is something we know is going to happen, if we are fortunate, I still believe in the power of love. One thing that no one can take from you, is the ability to love and trust another. We may come to a place of fear, and push away and want to distance ourselves from that glorious feeling, but in reality....it isn't possible. The lack of love or the offer of it will just replace itself with a sad loneliness that stays with us throughout and only stands to remind us of that loss. It is hard to take chances and to grow enough in ourselves that we can challenge our spirits and souls to overcome something the mind tells us not too. Trusting your heart and following it was the reason God made human beings so intricate and complicated. The well put together human being was created for a balance of all emotions. So when the fear sets in and the complications arise, they are suppose too. Love is the strongest of all, and the most difficult to understand, but the reality of it all, is it IS ALL THINGS. You already know that, I am sure, as you sit and contemplate your day, and talk of plans for dinner, and post snapshots of family, friends and proudly display you honey with that starry eyed look of happiness. One thing is for certain, it doesn't matter what age you are, the grayest of hair, the laugh lines, the "I'm not how I use to be"....The only thing about you, that will never change with age, is the wisdom of your heart and spirit. Listen to them and allow them to keep you young and alive....God kept them hidden unless we want them shown. There my friends, is your fountain of youth. Right there in you is the magic potion that keeps you going, dreaming, longing and caring. Falling in love and staying in love is the greatest of rewards for life. Sustaining that love and believing in it, gives you life. You had the answer of the "Fountain of Youth" all along.......So as the years creep up and you watch the changes of life on yourself and others....In their hearts they are as young as ever...Can you see it in their eyes! Never loose "sight"... hugs <3 p="">
Peace and blessings...
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Sometimes....
....
Sometimes you wake up from a dead sleep and it can be felt as "a bad thing"...everyone needs rest, but when the mind, or is it the spirit, won't shut down, you just have to roll with it.
Sometimes the wee hours of the morning, or late hours of the evening, can take us to a place that is quiet and still and our thoughts can go to places that mix with sad and happy. Times that come and times that fade, because we all know memories never go away, they just fade into the background, but sometimes, they can come back as crystal clear as a shiny crystal ball and you can go back in time and touch the moment as if it was right in front of your sleepy eyes. Sometimes it is a good thing to "remember when" even through the moments of painful realization and truth, but embrace sections of a memory that brought us the greatest joy. The wee hours of the morning as the clock ticks so quickly through the quiet will bring things from long ago to the front and as hard as you try to push it to the back, to dismiss it, it appears for a purpose. The past again, becomes very much the present, and you mind keeps you even more from sleeping. Sometimes the past is not such a bad thing. Look at all the beautiful music and vacations and the growth of our children, and loves we have had for many years and maybe some for just fleeting moments of time, but those tiny moments in the realm of days or years become the memories that will appear out of a crystal clear nights sleep and leave of thinking of those special feelings.
Sometimes it feels good to remember all the lovely people, places and things that led our lives into action to take a change or a risk and just live our life as if time had stood still and the only thing felt was that glorious feeling of freedom that made our spirits soar and the rest of the world stand still. The clock stops for just a moment and we can fully embrace what is really happening in our life. Sometimes the days will fly by and the moments will become hours, that we desperately want to slow down or stop and freeze this day just for a little while and maybe steal an extra hour or two to add to such a grand event or person that seemed to have touched us with a brilliance that sent us soaring into the unknown. Sometimes, instead of fighting the urge to crawl back in bed, I will just surrender to the time that is being stolen by my mind which needs so desperately to prepare for the day ahead, and I will go back into my mental scrapbook and relive the moments that brought me such joy. Sometimes, joy can turn to a tiny tear, but even if sadness becomes accustomed to attaching itself to that memory, I will quickly dismiss it as quickly as it came and just remember the warm embrace, the laughter, the nachos, the beach with a slowly setting sun and breeze that forever touches the skin. The sadness of being different now will suddenly be replaced in the morning hours with the thought of the fortunate times I have had in my life and how love and laughter filled the cracks between the difficulties and disappointments that make up the true world. Sometimes we want things to go on forever, and they do, and then sometimes they don't....but we make them forever in our minds in the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes when you want to crawl back into the covers and curse the night as it takes you back to a place of long ago and far away....embrace it, and think of all those lovely times with such happiness. Instead of thinking of loss, or hardship, or disappointment, think of how all of those things have made you who you are, and how fortunate it is that the mind can carry you back to a place where life was perfectly perfect and the world felt like a goose down comforter waiting for you to fall in it and forever be warm with the beauty of memories. Sometimes I just want to be in my life for an hour or two and just live the moments with more time than I actually had when they were happening......Sometimes you have to give thanks for sleepless nights and tired days......You actually are living the dream....just awake! hugs
Sometimes the wee hours of the morning, or late hours of the evening, can take us to a place that is quiet and still and our thoughts can go to places that mix with sad and happy. Times that come and times that fade, because we all know memories never go away, they just fade into the background, but sometimes, they can come back as crystal clear as a shiny crystal ball and you can go back in time and touch the moment as if it was right in front of your sleepy eyes. Sometimes it is a good thing to "remember when" even through the moments of painful realization and truth, but embrace sections of a memory that brought us the greatest joy. The wee hours of the morning as the clock ticks so quickly through the quiet will bring things from long ago to the front and as hard as you try to push it to the back, to dismiss it, it appears for a purpose. The past again, becomes very much the present, and you mind keeps you even more from sleeping. Sometimes the past is not such a bad thing. Look at all the beautiful music and vacations and the growth of our children, and loves we have had for many years and maybe some for just fleeting moments of time, but those tiny moments in the realm of days or years become the memories that will appear out of a crystal clear nights sleep and leave of thinking of those special feelings.
Sometimes it feels good to remember all the lovely people, places and things that led our lives into action to take a change or a risk and just live our life as if time had stood still and the only thing felt was that glorious feeling of freedom that made our spirits soar and the rest of the world stand still. The clock stops for just a moment and we can fully embrace what is really happening in our life. Sometimes the days will fly by and the moments will become hours, that we desperately want to slow down or stop and freeze this day just for a little while and maybe steal an extra hour or two to add to such a grand event or person that seemed to have touched us with a brilliance that sent us soaring into the unknown. Sometimes, instead of fighting the urge to crawl back in bed, I will just surrender to the time that is being stolen by my mind which needs so desperately to prepare for the day ahead, and I will go back into my mental scrapbook and relive the moments that brought me such joy. Sometimes, joy can turn to a tiny tear, but even if sadness becomes accustomed to attaching itself to that memory, I will quickly dismiss it as quickly as it came and just remember the warm embrace, the laughter, the nachos, the beach with a slowly setting sun and breeze that forever touches the skin. The sadness of being different now will suddenly be replaced in the morning hours with the thought of the fortunate times I have had in my life and how love and laughter filled the cracks between the difficulties and disappointments that make up the true world. Sometimes we want things to go on forever, and they do, and then sometimes they don't....but we make them forever in our minds in the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes when you want to crawl back into the covers and curse the night as it takes you back to a place of long ago and far away....embrace it, and think of all those lovely times with such happiness. Instead of thinking of loss, or hardship, or disappointment, think of how all of those things have made you who you are, and how fortunate it is that the mind can carry you back to a place where life was perfectly perfect and the world felt like a goose down comforter waiting for you to fall in it and forever be warm with the beauty of memories. Sometimes I just want to be in my life for an hour or two and just live the moments with more time than I actually had when they were happening......Sometimes you have to give thanks for sleepless nights and tired days......You actually are living the dream....just awake! hugs
Sunday, March 31, 2013
What do you think?
Things have been quiet on the airwaves this week with the reflection of the generosity that was shown us in Christ. I felt emotional on Friday as I thought of the incredible journey that was taken for us. The faith displayed and the love that grew in all of us because of him. I hope you spent your week in a way that brought you joy. As I thought of the days before and after and the fear and sadness that was given to Jesus to suffer so horribly....he pursued like the King he is...so with this history behind us, and this glorious message of unselfish love I began to think of my life...and my hopes.
What part does the Lord play in a marriage, relationship, etc...
Well, from my humble opinion, I can truly say, that my next relationship, and I will have one, is going to be one where the teachings of the Lord are the foundation. I truly don't believe that he expects us to live by doctrine all the time, as much as the feeling he gave to our world. When we look at each other in this day and age, I feel there is such a pressure to perform. It doesn't matter if it is at work, or home, or even church, there is always an expectation that can crease the spirit of good intention and leave it with a place that makes us vulnerable and afraid. A lot of relationships are like that now. We are suppose to be the "best" at any and all we do, and there is absolutely no way that can happen. We can give our personal best, but to be the best, there is no such thing. That is why marriage is such an ultimate compliment and union that should be the strongest ever. Marriage provides someone who accepts, hopefully, and loves, hopefully, with unconditional support and trust. Just like God says to us that we have to have faith and believe, that is no different than marriage. The two are parallel. Both relationships take the time and energy of having a strong faith. God provides a foundation that allows us to fall, but remember that falling brings us to a stronger place as the practice of falling frees us to be safe with someone. That can only give us strength. When we fall, and a spouse is there to hold us up, help us up, and support us if our legs are weary, then we have the faith in each other that God wants us to have for him. It is all a teaching, learning, believing, experience. I know I may sound off my rocker, but when God talks of us in words that offend others when they read them, like "obey"....I do not believe that he meant for us to be slaves to each other in any form, or that he meant it in a fashion where women were less than man. The human race has taken the opportunity to once again decipher the words of scripture and put a negative turn on it. Obey means, to yourself, your heart, your soul, your spirit. Obey to me means, that we take our marriage and we obey the laws of trust, truth, and love. It wasn't meant to single out one person in a relationship to have supreme power or guidance over another. God would not of formed such a perfect and wonderful union had he expected that. But if we do not "Obey" such given boundaries then where will that lead us? I do not believe a marriage should be alive and well in a place where physical abuse, mental abuse, or spiritual abuse is present. It is most important that the feeling of peace surround the love that you represent. Peace is not necessarily perfect days, or perfect times where life is rosy with no miscommunication or strife....It is peace in knowing that when you have hit a rocky shore above all else, the marriage will be protected. Hopefully, the teachings of God and the abundance of feelings that he has instilled in us is not for not........I believe that he formed us to have a balance that gave us temptation, but the strength to make decision based on following what is right in our hearts.....We are such complex and deep creatures and each and every one of us is as deep and complex as Jesus. But was he really? He was humble, simple and believed the principals that we are to "love one another". He gave us the tools, but instead of building a firm foundation for our lives and marriage, we use the jackhammers and destroy what is the very key to what he wants for us. Peace, faith and for us to believe in each other.....That is not a bad thing. That is a good thing. Part of the position of church and the community of church is accountability......Men are accountable to other men and the fellowship can either make us stronger, or tear us down, but if a Christian man is there to support Christian men, they will call them on their actions and hopefully give them gentle guidance back to the real and their purpose in family and society. Women as well. Fellowship in church with women is a gathering of different needs too. The support of each other is an extension of self. Instead of the focus constantly on self, it MAKES you be available to others and accountable to the church which takes away from always thinking of self. It can happen......unfortunately. I am not perfect, but in my future husband's eyes I would love to be. ... and him to me. No we are not perfect, but together we are perfect. Not in every sense of the word, but in our relationship the combining of both our traits and spirits, we create an imperfect perfectly wonderful place, good, or bad at given times, challenging and free at others.....It all is part of the "big picture". People have not put that piece together yet. You know it really isn't that hard.....It really is easy......People, society have made it a race to the end. .... There is no race. We all need to get off the speedway and slow down and take a nice slow walk holding the hand of someone we love. Next time you see a couple, be that woman and child, or father and child, young and old, alike.......Look at the amazing connection of something as simple as holding a hand......"We are connected"....We have to be...He made us in his eyes.......
Happy Easter Sunday my friend. I can keep writing as I have tons of things I feel for the life and it isn't the standard view. No offense to anything I say is intended. I just think outside the box.......Hugs and love from Phoenix. (hope you weren't bored)!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Sing a little song won't ya hon.....
It amazes me in my life how much music has attached itself to the soul, where as every note of a particular song can take you back to a time of good, and sometimes painful memories. I love music. It lifts me up, it surrounds me with thought. It brings me joy. It tugs at my heart strings like a hunter with a bow. You pull it back and the arrow flies straight for the target with precision, making the greatest of men envious of the talent. Nothing can get me going like music. I love every type there is. I can find a lovely song in every category, almost like a menu in a restaurant. I fell in love with Bonnie Raitt way back in the 70's, with her bluesy tunes that made my heart come to learn the meaning of love. Not the mushy gushy kind, but the kind that cuts right to the chase and you learn what true passion is all about. How do you define passion? I wonder if there are enough words. I wonder how many songs we have in our memory banks that bring back a feeling of yesterday. I have so many and starting young, I would have to say the Carpenters were the ones that made me love to think about love. "Superstar" was and is an excellent song that I still sing at the top of my lungs driving down the freeway with no care except being 17 and in love with my boyfriend for the very first time in my life........He loved the Carpenters and together we would talk, laugh and love life with that beautiful voice in the background. Awwwwwwww.......such a good time.
I wonder what we would do without the tunes in the morning to start the day and end the day. Can you even imagine what the world would hold without the glorious sound of strings and drums, and guitars. I cannot even think what it would be like. So very barren the air would be without the gentle sounds of instruments speaking to us in a language all their own. Who would of known that another sense of life would exist in the gentle or powerful voice of someone with massive talent that could rock the world with excitement. In my life, I can name right off the top of my head the songs that stayed forever with me...."Come Monday" by Jimmy Buffett, for how ever popular and over played it may be, I cannot help but hear it and think back to a time when love had no boundaries for me, and I loved with everything I had and don't regret it for a minute. That song can come on the radio and I can relive that moment when the world felt right and good and I knew without a doubt that the most wonderful guy in the universe cared about ME, and I could be me and love like I always dreamed and feel with a powerful trust that just seemed to be the something I needed to believe. ......I loved it! Still do, I keep it tucked neatly away in a very private part of my heart and can always rekindle a feeling of great joy just by that song...Wonderful way to recall all that I came to know as real. As days travel into weeks and weeks into months, it is nice to know that the life being spent on something so terrific was spent with a lifetime of return. A terrific moment in my world that made everything else small in comparison. I love having something I will never regret. This song reminds me of that. Lucky girl I was....
Rock and Roll is here to stay and boy am I happy about that. I love love love rock music too! I think it is the power behind the drive. It can make you party like a "rockstar" and you can accomplish so much with all of that momentum behind any task! My favorite summertime treat is to work around the home doing chores of all sorts with the invigorating sounds of guitars and drums and anything else you want to throw in. Better leave the Crown and Coke for another time, as that just detours the reason I started the music in the first place...but hey, who said you can't stop and dance right?!!!! Wanna get some stuff done........Led Zepplin....addicting! "Kashmir"......need I say more! ( :
My life would not be complete without Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic". What a down right sexy tune. When you have great company and that man's voice cutting through your spirit, well there is no stopping what the feeling will say in a simple song. If you have no words to express, no actions to show feelings to the degree of passion that generates from that music, all you have to do is close your eyes and listen and follow the words..........Nothing else need be said!
Let us not forget about the greatest of all greats.....The Beatles!!!! Cannot leave them out! Ok, if I had to narrow it down to one....."In My Life"...it tells it the way it is, where life is real and time goes on but comes back to a feeling that belongs to no other...Just a wonderful display of words that jump right out and grab you and make you happy that love is something we can give to someone and feel so good about it. What a gift....a wonderful, satisfying forever living music!
Whew....enough of that now, I better stop there....I just might get myself in trouble.! Well you get my point. Want something good? Turn on your stereo or radio, or anything that brings that music to life for you. You won't be disappointed as you take yourself into a world of moments and days gone by, only to bring you right back to it........All in a song, and that my friend, no one can take from you!
Hugs <3 p="">
I wonder what we would do without the tunes in the morning to start the day and end the day. Can you even imagine what the world would hold without the glorious sound of strings and drums, and guitars. I cannot even think what it would be like. So very barren the air would be without the gentle sounds of instruments speaking to us in a language all their own. Who would of known that another sense of life would exist in the gentle or powerful voice of someone with massive talent that could rock the world with excitement. In my life, I can name right off the top of my head the songs that stayed forever with me...."Come Monday" by Jimmy Buffett, for how ever popular and over played it may be, I cannot help but hear it and think back to a time when love had no boundaries for me, and I loved with everything I had and don't regret it for a minute. That song can come on the radio and I can relive that moment when the world felt right and good and I knew without a doubt that the most wonderful guy in the universe cared about ME, and I could be me and love like I always dreamed and feel with a powerful trust that just seemed to be the something I needed to believe. ......I loved it! Still do, I keep it tucked neatly away in a very private part of my heart and can always rekindle a feeling of great joy just by that song...Wonderful way to recall all that I came to know as real. As days travel into weeks and weeks into months, it is nice to know that the life being spent on something so terrific was spent with a lifetime of return. A terrific moment in my world that made everything else small in comparison. I love having something I will never regret. This song reminds me of that. Lucky girl I was....
Rock and Roll is here to stay and boy am I happy about that. I love love love rock music too! I think it is the power behind the drive. It can make you party like a "rockstar" and you can accomplish so much with all of that momentum behind any task! My favorite summertime treat is to work around the home doing chores of all sorts with the invigorating sounds of guitars and drums and anything else you want to throw in. Better leave the Crown and Coke for another time, as that just detours the reason I started the music in the first place...but hey, who said you can't stop and dance right?!!!! Wanna get some stuff done........Led Zepplin....addicting! "Kashmir"......need I say more! ( :
My life would not be complete without Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic". What a down right sexy tune. When you have great company and that man's voice cutting through your spirit, well there is no stopping what the feeling will say in a simple song. If you have no words to express, no actions to show feelings to the degree of passion that generates from that music, all you have to do is close your eyes and listen and follow the words..........Nothing else need be said!
Let us not forget about the greatest of all greats.....The Beatles!!!! Cannot leave them out! Ok, if I had to narrow it down to one....."In My Life"...it tells it the way it is, where life is real and time goes on but comes back to a feeling that belongs to no other...Just a wonderful display of words that jump right out and grab you and make you happy that love is something we can give to someone and feel so good about it. What a gift....a wonderful, satisfying forever living music!
Whew....enough of that now, I better stop there....I just might get myself in trouble.! Well you get my point. Want something good? Turn on your stereo or radio, or anything that brings that music to life for you. You won't be disappointed as you take yourself into a world of moments and days gone by, only to bring you right back to it........All in a song, and that my friend, no one can take from you!
Hugs <3 p="">
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Yesterday.....all my troubles seem so far away
Yesterday contained a tragedy that we all wish was untrue and didn't happen, an event that is so hurtful it shakes the life right out of you. I sat at work today with my good, dear friend, and all the wonderful people that I work with when the ding comes over the airwaves and notifies the world of the terrible tragedy in CT. I felt the tears well up inside my heart, as I looked at the front door and shuddered to think that something so life altering, tragic and frightening could ever happen to the kingdom I call work everyday. As our halls scurried with little ones who were celebrating reading, I looked at those innocent eyes and voices of pride as they earned their sticker to celebrate reading a poem that their wonderful teachers had guided them to do to celebrate the wonderful day of "Poem in your Pocket." I listen to the voices, concerns, conversations of dedicated school personnel who give their all, dealing with children everyday, from homework to band aids, lost jackets. It doesn't stop at homework, or paperwork, their students go home with them everyday in rolling carts and file bags that carry assignments and lesson plans that prepare them for the next day. The planning, care and LOVE....yes LOVE for their students is evident in the struggles and celebrations they share for 180 days a year. Our teachers share in conversations and dedication for their students everyday. Our administrators take on the responsibility of touching every child who enters the door. They celebrate their successes and help when the struggles appear and help is needed. You cannot separate yourself from that.
I don't even remember the last bell of the day ringing, as there was so much to take in that day. The normal work load seemed tremendous and the ability to concentrate was lacking, as my thoughts always turned to "what if." Working in an office where you are subject to any and all that walk through a door, and many many different people who come through on a daily basis is unnerving at times. You look, watch, watch some more, and try to keep the campus as safe as possible, checking ID's, getting to know the who and more of family units. I can tell you, we are careful and pay close attention to members of our children's family, but nothing can stop the destruction of another human being who want to assume the roll of ..... well you know. I found myself getting extremely nervous with all the activity, but I saw everyone from parents to kids to teachers celebrating the day, and I celebrated the wonderful opportunity to share in the excitement of a school. I listened closer, celebrated the poems deeper, and took a moment to just "take it all in." I was thankful and blessed we were safe for today.
I am so incredibly saddened as this event takes such a tragic thought to the entire United States. It isn't the fault of the gun, the laws, the politics, it is the doings of a very very sick person. How to help these sick people? What do we do in a place where sadness, stress, and gosh knows what else, is invading the minds of hundreds, and it is starting to consume our safety and freedom to live a life of peace. I don't have any answers to anything and I don't know what can possibly to done, other than to have more resources for people to turn too should they see a loved one, or close person who is struggling with issues that they don't understand. Maybe if we all just help each other with each other, the learning will begin and if one person doesn't know or understand, another will, and we can at least say we tried. I am sure the issues of CT will come to surface, and whatever events led up to this tragedy will come to show sadness in so many different ways.......I know that moving on today with laughter, happiness, celebration is difficult, as across the miles sits more tragedy with people we don't even know.....but we do........it is us....everyday in every way.....Love to you today, peace to you today, and prayer for you today and always.
I don't even remember the last bell of the day ringing, as there was so much to take in that day. The normal work load seemed tremendous and the ability to concentrate was lacking, as my thoughts always turned to "what if." Working in an office where you are subject to any and all that walk through a door, and many many different people who come through on a daily basis is unnerving at times. You look, watch, watch some more, and try to keep the campus as safe as possible, checking ID's, getting to know the who and more of family units. I can tell you, we are careful and pay close attention to members of our children's family, but nothing can stop the destruction of another human being who want to assume the roll of ..... well you know. I found myself getting extremely nervous with all the activity, but I saw everyone from parents to kids to teachers celebrating the day, and I celebrated the wonderful opportunity to share in the excitement of a school. I listened closer, celebrated the poems deeper, and took a moment to just "take it all in." I was thankful and blessed we were safe for today.
I am so incredibly saddened as this event takes such a tragic thought to the entire United States. It isn't the fault of the gun, the laws, the politics, it is the doings of a very very sick person. How to help these sick people? What do we do in a place where sadness, stress, and gosh knows what else, is invading the minds of hundreds, and it is starting to consume our safety and freedom to live a life of peace. I don't have any answers to anything and I don't know what can possibly to done, other than to have more resources for people to turn too should they see a loved one, or close person who is struggling with issues that they don't understand. Maybe if we all just help each other with each other, the learning will begin and if one person doesn't know or understand, another will, and we can at least say we tried. I am sure the issues of CT will come to surface, and whatever events led up to this tragedy will come to show sadness in so many different ways.......I know that moving on today with laughter, happiness, celebration is difficult, as across the miles sits more tragedy with people we don't even know.....but we do........it is us....everyday in every way.....Love to you today, peace to you today, and prayer for you today and always.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Awwwwwwwwwww...........It's here....AGAIN.....another life altering event that comes like a runaway train, that cannot be stopped until it derails. There isn't a lot you can do about the choices of others, except to accept to not except. I believe in life of free will and all the responsiblity that comes with it. I don't think that it necessarily means that life is an ever going "free for all" where the total act of self consumption takes over the world and before you know it, hearts are left in piles of rubble and everyone is sorting through it to find theirs again. I love free will......I am a "hippie" from the world of peace and love...."no drugs, just hugs" to quote my wonderful cuz....ha ha....(love that cuz). I believe deep in my soul and spirit that the momentum you put into your view of the world will come back to you ten fold. But....what they didn't teach us in "positive school" is that when you see the world full of flowers and sunshine, there is always a dark cloud that can surface and you will be faced with a storm of grand turbulence that can translate itself into a natural disaster. Positive does create positive, but not everyone can live that way. Not everyone has the desire for the "good", the peaceful, the calm. Sometimes drama gets the blood to flow and causes false sensations of happy, when in reality, it is just what it is and the happy gets replaced with the world of make-believe drama. I don't like drama, unless of course it is on Lifetime and someone else is having to be a heart-broken, dumbfounded, what-the-hell just happened female.
Is it really so hard for the world to slow to a pace that includes just having an open, honest, relationship? Do we have to get sucked into this place of "stuff is us"
and make that the focal point of all existence? I question the world of TV that plays this grandiose role in our world where we are subject to advertising that displays the world of product as being the world. Those "products" are wrapping paper for others to decide how they want to view us. Walking around with the "fancies" is great, you look terrific, you feel on top of the world...but....what price are you going to pay? Does drama come into play when the charge card bill comes or the arguments for more more more money to pay for more more more stuff begin to surface, and before you know it, the day is cluttered with the fight for more, when you had enough to begin with. I don't have the answers to anything anymore. I just take the moments of the day and try to live them with honesty and devotion to the things and people that entered my life. I want/need my sons to know that life does not need to be about having more, but really having less. Having more causes precious time to be spent creating the funds to have the "more". Then time, loving people, friends, pets, fades as the commodity that does not collect an interest rate, nor can you purchase a loan for it, is left unspent because we are busy worrying, working and working and working, always to "get" a higher rate of pay to pay for the things we already have, and just think we need. There is a big difference between needing something and wanting something. Look around you.....do you really need that? Make a promise to yourself....Just today...plan on "spending" your time like it is priceless....you are a millionaire with this day...It is the most "money" you will ever have. Every minute is mega dollars and you must spend it with joy, happiness, honesty, peace and love....You already have a big enough bank account. It is called your life...spend wisely, you cannot replace those "funds". Peace
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